This Mama Will NOT Live In Fear

This Mama Will NOT Live In Fear

How do you tell fear what you’re made of?  Here’s how I learned to move past my fears at the scariest moment of my adult life.

My biggest lesson in tackling fear came when my son was going in for a very scary evaluation with a developmental pediatrician. For months we had been agonizing over informal observations and people’s opinions of whether or not our sweet boy was on the autism spectrum. As parents, my husband and I knew that the best thing for all of us was to get real answers. That meant facing our fears on, because nothing is really scarier as a parent than all kinds of people implying or telling you they think something is “wrong” with your child. Nothing is wrong with anyone on the autism spectrum, might I add, but that is another topic for another day…

I had choices, as we all do, going into this unknown. I could totally lose myself in my fear. Giving in to feelings of anxiety often feels way easier than not because you can lose yourself in it. It is truly hard to describe, but I had two kids to take care of and almost two full months until the appointment day. I also had a business to run, family to visit, meals to cook, and bills to pay.

How in the world did I make it through those days of “what if”?

One day at a time, I showed my fear that I was the bigger person. Potentially getting a scary diagnosis wasn’t the end of anything because my child is more than a label. Rather than drown myself in those scary feelings, I let myself feel them briefly, then told them, “You aren’t everything here and you are NOT going to win.” Yes, I talked to my fears! I would stand in my kitchen doing the dishes and talk aloud. I would stroll my babies to the park and listen to songs that empowered me. And it worked! That day was still awful and emotional, and to this date the hardest day of my life. However, I still came out knowing the things I told myself the two months leading up to it.

This was not the end.

I couldn’t let fear win. By choosing to tackle fear head on, I showed it what I was made of:  A Mama Who Will NOT Give in to Fear.

How have you shown fear what you’re made of?  Tell us below!